V5.04 April 2003

0. Introduction.
1. New .LA Domain Name Exclusive!
2. Schedule Announcements For The Future!
3. Live Person Chat Support!
4. FREE DreamHost License Plate Frames!
5. DHSOTM


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0. Introduction.

Hello, and welcome once again to the only monthly webhosting newsletter
written by a certified stand-up comic! In case you haven't heard, for my
last birthday (MARCH FOURTH) my girlfriend enrolled me in a stand up
comedy class at the local adult education center. It was cool, but I
couldn't shake the nagging feeling she was trying to tell me something.

Let me tell you, it's pretty weird to take a comedy class. Especially
the very first class. It's soooooooooooo awkward sitting there waiting
for the Nutty Professor while some of your classmates make lame chit-
chat. It was like they all had their funny-phasers set to kill. Every
word out of your mouth had to be a punchline.. and I don't know, call me
a comedy-nazi maybe, but I thought some of these aspriring stand-ups
would probably be better off leaving things like that.. aspirations.

Anyway, it all culminated last Wednesday with my own five-minute comedy
hour! At an actual club with an actual stage and an actual crowd too! It
went pretty well really, especially for my first time. You really can't
go wrong making fun of fat kids. JUST KIDDING!

Things went so well, I'd say the only real downside is that I no longer
have any excuse for my unfunny DreamHost newsletters. Now be prepared to
be guffawed with all the tried and true comedy techniques I have
mastered in the last six weeks!


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1. New .LA Domain Name Exclusive!

What is the DEAL with ccTLDs? It's like everytime I turn around, some
tiny little third-world nation has sold off their national top level
domain rights to another greedy domain registrar who wants to
re-appropriate it for a totally unrelated meaning.

Oh hey, we've got a special deal for you! DreamHost is partnering with
LANames to bring back from the dead the .LA tld for general use! Great
for Los Angeles people (like us!), Louisiana people (like um..
somebody?), Latin America people (like El Guapo!), and Leftist Artist
people (like the Dixie Chicks!) alike.

The domain is owned by Laos (a small land-locked nation bordering
Vietnam, China, Myanmar, Thailand, and Cambodia), and they've sold the
rights to run the registry to these LANames guys, and we'll in turn be
running the official (and only...) .LA registrar for them! The new site
will soon arrive at http://www.la/ .. check check it!

What does all this mean to you, Mr. or Ms. Happy DreamHost Customer?
Well, we've used our overprivileged access in all of this to arrange a
special deal just for you... current DreamHost customers will be able to
register these new .LA domains BEFORE the rest of the general populace!

We can't yet tell you how much of a head start you'll all get, but it
will be a substantial amount of time. What we can tell you now is
they'll be $50/year (some special reserved names will be more) and that
this Monday, Cinco de Mayo, you should check the DreamHost announcements
for more info (just log in to the web panel). We can also tell you that
you'll probably want to be the first on your block to have one.


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2. Schedule Announcements For The Future!

Hey, anybody see the new Announcement List feature? Anybody, anybody?
You did? Yeah, me too! It's cool right? No seriously, anybody? HA!

Ahhhhhh, that was some good schtick.

But really, there is a new Announcement List feature.. you can now
schedule an announcement you write now to go out sometime in the future.
Just use the new form on the send page to enter the date and time (in
24-hour format, Pacific Daylight Time) and your announcement will wait
in our queue until then before going out!

Get all your wedding, baby shower, graduation, retirement, and funeral
announcements out of the way today!


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3. Live Person Chat Support!

Now that you can announce things for any time in the future instead of
just immediately, wouldn't it be nice if you could get support
immediately instead of just any time in the future? (and that, lady and
gentleman, is what in the stand-up comedy world they call a "segue")

Well now you can, sort of! We've been testing Live Person support chat
for a while now and thought now would be a good time to go ahead and
tell everybody about it. It's still beta though, and we don't guarantee
we'll always have support manning the chat line at any specific times.

Caveats aside, Live Person is a pretty nice way for us to give you
quick feedback for relatively simple questions. If there's something
about our services confusing you or if you're wondering our policy on
something or other, starting a Live Person chat may be the way to go!

If it seems like something is possibly wrong with our system or you have
a fairly involved or complicated request, we'd recommend you still use
our regular email system though. There's only so much we can fix in real
time, and generally it's better to deal with trickier issues via email..
we currently can't really escalate a live chat session!

You can access Live Person from any web browser via our web panel's
normal support request form here:

https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=support.msg

Of course, never forget our extensive Knowledge Base:

https://panel.dreamhost.com/kbase/

Or our busy customer discussion boards:

http://discussion.dreamhost.com/

As well!


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4. FREE DreamHost License Plate Frames!

What better way to cap off another successful monthly newsletter than
with a FREE give away from Happy DreamHost Employees to Happy DreamHost
Customers?

This morning I was cleaning out the DreamHost attic when I found this
box:

http://www.dreamhost.com/box.jpg

I was so thrilled at the discovery, I immediately decided to give away
all 120 of them:

http://www.dreamhost.com/frame.jpg

to the first 120 DreamHost customers who email stories@dreamhost.com
with:

Their name.
Their shipping address.
A funny joke (under fifty words).

I am definitely _NOT_ going to be stealing these jokes for any future
stand-up performances. If you're having a hard time thinking of a funny
joke, I recommend doing something with fat kids.


(And THAT is what is known as a "call-back" to us pro comedians.)


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5. DHSOTM

Phew, just in time for the end of the newsletter, this month's DreamHost
Site of The Month is for some reason Zero Plus Two:

http://www.zeroplustwo.com/

I don't know what it is, maybe my humor level has just evolved to a
higher plane or something, but I don't really get this site. However,
YOU may like it!

And, if you'd like to see YOUR site featured in a glowing review such as
this one someday, all you have to do is submit it for the DHSOTM award
right heredy-here:

https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.dhsotm


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I'll be here all week,
Josh!

URL source: http://wiki.dreamhost.com/V5.04_April_2003

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