Welcome to the January 2005 DreamHost newsletter! Once again, I
apologize for the somewhat tardy delivery of this month's newsletter.
However, as always, I have ample excuses! You see, what with the "big
game" (I think you're not allowed to say Super Bowl (TM) unless you're an
officially licensed NFL affiliate. Whoops, I said Super Bowl (TM)! Oh
POOP-SMITH, I said Super Bowl (TM) again. Oh. ur. Anyway, maybe I'll just
say "Awesome Bowl" (No TM) from now on to avoid any possible litigation
from whomever the official Web Host of the NFL is. Phew!) coming up on
Sunday, I've been occupied all week trying to get HDTV with PVR
functionality. I won't bore and mund you with all the boring and
mundane details, but suffice it to say it makes a really good excuse for
the newsletter being just an eensy teensy bit late!
But actually, the REAL reason this whole PVR/HDTV Awesome Bowl thing made
me so late is because it inspired me to implement PVR functionality into
this VERY newsletter! That's right.. you can now pause this newsletter
right in the middle of viewing it! In fact, you can rewind to the
beginning or fast-forward to the end (recommended), or even just save it
to your hard drive for later perusal! Everybody says they love skipping
past the commercials with the new DreamHost Newsletter with PVR
technology! I call it "DHIVO" (No TM).
Go ahead, give it a try.. stop reading right here and walk away from the
computer.
(See, you didn't miss much! Just a stupid line of ###s and a title!
Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it, and next time I bet you won't
even miss that. Now skip forward (down arrow) to catch back up where you
were.)
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1. New One-Click Installation Feature!
Are you back? See, you didn't miss a thing! Did you? Oh, you did? Please
just rewind (press up arrow) and you'll see what you missed!
(Okay, you're back, perfect! You didn't even overshoot at all!)
won't keep supporting it.. so if you have any problems down the line
(like say, it DOES stop working), we're going to have to say, "Sorry
(Oh wait. You did go a little too far. Looks like you missed some
important stuff. Just push the 30 second back button (page up) and you
can get back quickly...)
Go ahead, give it a try.. stop reading right here and walk away from the
computer.
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1. New One-Click Installation Feature!
Are you back? See, you didn't miss a thing! Did you? Oh, you did? Please
just rewind (press up arrow) and you'll see what you missed!
Since everybody's already going to be doing a lot of clicking this
weekend switching between Awesome Bowl half-time shows, we at DreamHost
thought it'd be nice if you didn't have to do a lot of clicking the
rest of the week! Not to mention... forever!
That's why we've converted the new "Goodies > WordPress Blog" area into
the now-even-newer "Goodies > One-Click Installs" area! Everything's
just like it was before, except now you can ALSO install a phpBB2 (TM?)
forum, Advanced Poll (TM?) software, and an OSCommerce (TMNT?) store...
all with just ONE CLICK (each)! Check out the new and improved area:
We plan to add even more easy-installs in upcoming months too! All from
that same convenient spot.. you'll never have to get out of your
LA-Z-BOY (TM) to install software for your web site again!
And don't worry Amazon (TM), it's not one-click shopping (TM), it's just
one-click software installation. And actually, after the "one-click
install" you get an email with final installation steps to take, which
always means a few more clicks.. but this should not be construed as any
false advertising on our part!
Speaking of false advertising..
"Discount generic drugs. save over 70%
todays specials,
Viagr" (boo BOOP!)
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2. No more SolidComponents!
Good job! You skipped right past that commercial with our semi-patented
DHIVO (No TM) technology. NICE. Now on to more meaty newsletter content!
Maybe the last item clued you in, but now that we've got this swanky new
one-click installer, SolidComponents (TM) officially has both feet in
the grave!
Grimly, effective immediately you can no longer install SolidComponents
(TM) from our web panel. For those of you already using some of the
components, we recommend switching to the corresponding one-click
install offerings. SolidComponents (TM) won't stop working, but we
won't keep supporting it.. so if you have any problems down the line
(like say, it DOES stop working), we're going to have to say, "Sorry
bub (TM), but one-click installs are *TOTALLY IT*!" (SM).
I'm very sorry if you were absolutely in love with SolidComponents (TM)
or something, but if that's the case, all I can do is say is "Then why
don't you marry them?", then run and hide behind my dad.
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3. No more Razor!
Everybody at DreamHost is going Steve-Wozniak-facial-hair-style from
here on out! That includes the ladies too... I don't want to hear no
back talk! And this time, growing some vague hint of a mustache isn't
going to cut it. C'mon, the Awesome Bowl is Sunday and hey, Groundhog
day is today! It's time to all turn into real hairy MEN again.
Oh wait, sorry. I'm just getting word that this section is about
something totally different. It turns out that our old anti-spam filter
Razor (TM?) is going the way of SolidComponents (TM) today too! As you
may have noticed for a while, we have a new Junk Filter option here:
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=mail.junk
It uses SpamAssassin and it works much better. It is true that Razor
could be turned on for just one email address, whereas the new Junk
Filter is per-domain, but that's what we in the biz like to call "a
tradeoff". And in this case, the tradeoff is you get a Junk Mail filter
that works better and works a lot while losing one that doesn't catch
much spam and breaks a lot!
And of course, we aren't turning off Razor for people who already have
it on, we're just not letting anybody else turn it on. And if you have
any problems with it from now on, we're probably going to ask that you
just switch to our new junk filter! Just like if you have any problems
with the newsletter's content from now on, we're just going to ask that
you use DHIVO (No TM) to skip to the end.
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4. New Charities!
Hooray, you didn't just skip to the end! I appreciate your charity! You
must already know about the DreamHost Charity program at:
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.charity
Where every other month we put up two new charities and allow Happy
DreamHost Customers such as yourself to go and donate right from your
hosting bill.. and then we match it!
We just finished up a round where 12 people donated $178.85 to
Scholarship America (http://www.scholarshipamerica.org/) and 11 people
donated $352.22 to Project Spera (http://www.projectspera.org).
Therefore, we've just doubled those amounts and sent the donations in!
Now, you can go and donate to two new charities:
"Doctors Without Borders" (http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/)
delivers emergency aid to victims of armed conflict, epidemics, and
natural and man-made disasters, and to others who lack health care due
to social or geographical isolation. If you're into Tsunami relief, this
is the charity for you.
"The Apache Software Foundation" (http://www.apache.org/) makes the
awesome Open Source software we use to serve y'all's web pages! If
you're into your web site, this is the charity for you.
And if you're not into charity at all, I'm sure you've already found the
"page down" functionality built into all DHIVO (No TM) versions!
This month's lucky DreamHost Site of the Month winner is.. The New
England Patriots! HA ha ha, whoops, just kidding.. sorry about that
Eagles fan(s). The Patriots are of course actually the current and
upcoming Awesome Bowl winners, and *not* the DHSOTM winners!
http://www.wikipes.com/
IS the DHSOTM winner. And not a moment too soon, since it looks like you
were but a few KB away from running out of free space on your DHIVO (No
TM) and probably need to delete this episode to clear out room for more
important things like "Howw TOW PLE$E he4" and "Mortgage rates are at a
(bee BOOP!)
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.dhsotm
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THREE THUMBS UP,
Josh!
Unlike stinky Tivo (TM), the DHIVO (No TM) _automatically_ gives you a
season's pass to itself.. so you don't have to do anything to ensure you
never miss another thrilling episode (viewable everywhere and at any
time)! Of course, if "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" (TM) is more your
chunk of cheese and you need to save the hard drive space, feel free to
kill your DreamHost Newsletter season's pass here:
https://panel.dreamhost.com/id/?tab=contact
But hey.. unlike TIVO (TM) and going to the Awesome Bowl, DHIVO (Still
No TM) is FREE and Super!
